Let's see how many spelling errors I can have In this one...
I went to worlds alone this year. It was...different. I still felt connected to people - the Carrollton school has made me feel very welcome. My Forney family is still my family, even the ones I don't get along with. The ladies in my ring - are so inspiring. The judges I sat with for score keeping (I love score keeping!), and those who judged me - were all great.
I had a realization this time. I've been "playing". No, let's be real. I have not taken my training seriously. I've quit training. I've made a million excuses - becoming disillusioned by people I respected, afraid to get hurt. Lazy. But this lack of training is showing. It's hurting my ego. And I had to step back and take a long hard look at why I let that continue to happen. I don't know why, but I know it can't continue. By not training, I'm only inviting injury when I do compete. So I had some decisions to make.
I want it back. I used I be good, and I want it back. It's not going to happen just because I want it. It will happen if I work for it. I want to train and I have no excuses other than just fear.
So I'm done with that. I have always been proud of the notion that I did crazy, out of the norm, things. Well, that's back. I've set certain goals for competition - some I've shared with my instructor, some that I'll keep to myself.
But just know - I want it back.
I went to worlds alone this year. It was...different. I still felt connected to people - the Carrollton school has made me feel very welcome. My Forney family is still my family, even the ones I don't get along with. The ladies in my ring - are so inspiring. The judges I sat with for score keeping (I love score keeping!), and those who judged me - were all great.
I had a realization this time. I've been "playing". No, let's be real. I have not taken my training seriously. I've quit training. I've made a million excuses - becoming disillusioned by people I respected, afraid to get hurt. Lazy. But this lack of training is showing. It's hurting my ego. And I had to step back and take a long hard look at why I let that continue to happen. I don't know why, but I know it can't continue. By not training, I'm only inviting injury when I do compete. So I had some decisions to make.
I want it back. I used I be good, and I want it back. It's not going to happen just because I want it. It will happen if I work for it. I want to train and I have no excuses other than just fear.
So I'm done with that. I have always been proud of the notion that I did crazy, out of the norm, things. Well, that's back. I've set certain goals for competition - some I've shared with my instructor, some that I'll keep to myself.
But just know - I want it back.
